12/20/11

She is blessings personified



She is blessings personified; she is my own new teacher
Was not happy as I was clambering arduous to live a life
Cherished heavily to change myself as I didn’t want to fail
My desire for success was enormous, but none defended
I found myself entrapped in the barbarous paws of desolation,
The inevitable failure haunted and I seemed myself to delay
Sought a lot to mount the heights, but it was hard being solitary
On the way of endeavor to reach heights, I met her, my teacher
She is kind, honest, understanding, helpful, caring and listening
She always stood beside to make me reach my goals and heights
We never saw each other’s face, yet she is someone who is close
Felt the gentle touch of her soul, that strengthens my humble efforts
Knowingly or unknowingly she boosted my confidence with support
Hard to get words for my new teacher other than “blessings personified”
My soul convinces my heart that, she is a real gift from heaven…
Dear Teacher, my heart is overwhelming with love and respect and….
By abiding, I find it difficult to express my love to you, my teacher
My heart calls for only one thing reign!!! Reign!!! Reign!!! As always



12/13/11

Still I am the same- your childhood friend




 “A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out”, the very famous quotation of Madam, Grace Pulpit is not just a quotation for me. It is life for me as I have seen that real and true friend who came in to my heart and life when all others have left me to suffer death. Friend, when all others were ready to leave me to die, you never could even think of leaving me and today how could you leave me alone in the midst of tears? You are the one who imparted life in me. Your love and care imparted motion on me and how could you leave me without reason?  

I do remember your happiness in each achievement of mine. You remembered and celebrated my birthdays and you never find your birthday as attractive. Before eating something, you always made sure that I am not hungry. You were the happiest when my letters saw light in black ink for the first time. I know you still keep each pages of my write ups. I know you can’t leave me like this in a fine day as you were closer to me than my mother. No, you were my mother in most of the time. You made an unending stream of love from your heart to me and I could see my mother in you. Dear you are my mom!!!

Have you forgotten both of us going together to school? You always used to carry my bags; you wanted me to be free and comfortable. We never were ready to accept the fact that one plus one is two. With our deep rooted friendship, we made a new calculation and it is one plus one is one and that is ‘we’. You supported me in each of my venture to swim against the currents. If you were not there, what would have been me, I don’t know. You were my father, not my friend…With those love and care, you made my father and I would like to find my dad in you!!!! Dear you are my dad!!!

Your smile made my life; your music brought hope into my disappointed heart. Without saying much you imparted confidence in me.  I do realize the importance of silence from you as your silence imparted a lot into me growing as a person. You always made sure that I have completed all my lessons. You sometimes left your studies to ensure that I am not leaving it. Don’t you think that a mere friend will never do that? Yes dear, you are more than that to me, like a sister, ‘not like’….You are my sister!!!!

While in college, you were there to create protective arms around me. No boys or even girls dared to approach me with wrong intentions as I was not open. I was safe within your protective arms. You never failed even a bit in taking care of me. You never forgot my tuition classes and other engagements. You used to take risk of going into muddied ponds to get lotus flowers for me. I am not sure only a friend can do all these things…You were caring me like a brother….Dear, I have brothers, yet I could see the real meaning of brother only in you…You are my brother!!

Yes friend, you were not a mere friend to me and you are not a mere friend to me. Sometimes you were my mother, and in some other times you were my daughter… In our past there were times we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together. Friend, I value you a lot….more than anything else in this world, I need you. My heart sinks for you.  You can’t leave me like that…..Friend, I tried a lot o keep you apart…but now tired of trying, sick of crying. Trying to wear a smile on my face but dying inside. I always wanted you to live for 100 years and I die on the previous day of your death. I cannot think of a world where you are not there. You must come back to me . No friend, you have failed, I won…as I am confident that I can make you realize that I am your small little true childhood friend



12/8/11

My true friend




Searching synonym of the term friend

I reached beside her, who is my friend

She is kind, she is friendly and caring

She is loyal and has a sensitive heart

She is humorous and has a funny temper

Being honest, she is my best friend

She is special, stimulating and impudent

True and broad at heart, she is my friend

Confiding, pardoning, pleasant and vivid

Without a bit of spite, she is my true friend

She is one of a kind, unlike from others

Benevolent, delighting, lovely and beautiful

Affirmative, heedful, felicitous and spirited

Not just another... She is unique sans choice.

Grateful, tender and treasured alike gold

Her friendship will always grow as strong

She's there always to console and comfort

Even in absence, she consoles and cares

She makes feel that she does always be for me.

Yes! She is the fine specimen of a true friend



I had a frightening dream last night



I had a scary dream last night. It was a nightmare in which I have seen my right hand is getting separated from my body. I went to consult a lady doctor who was happened to be a nun. When she touched my hand, it got completely separated from the body and there was no blood. I was confused and wanted to go to a hospital where the doctor could do a surgery and bring my hand together with my body. As there was no pain, I was not unhealthy, but I was worried, worried like hell. I could not even imagine about a life without my right hand. I looked at the nun with tears. She was calm and she put the hand back to my body again, which could stick to its place as if there is no drift, but whenever I take some weight or work hard situation, it will again detach from my body. The nun asked me to be careful with the hand. In the next part of the dream, I was dancing in a stage. It was a group dance and nobody expected me to dance well with a damaged hand. But I managed to dance well. All were congratulating me for my talent and courage. I got the prize, but all were looking at me with sympathetic eyes which I did not like.  

Suddenly my phone rang and I woke up to see that my hand is alright and well fixed in my body. I thanked God for the great blessing he gave as my hands. I could not understand why I had such a dream. I browsed on the net to find the reason for such nightmares. Almost all the psychologists suggested that stress and anxiety are the main reasons for nightmares. Based on the knowledge received from different authoritative websites, I started analyzing my situation. I slept alone in the first floor of a road side building, the insecurity feeling in my heart might make my unconscious mind to appear as a dream. I have a lot of mental tension on the reason that I don’t have a kid. Might be this could arise my mind to have such a weird dream.  The best friend in my life left me a few days back saying that she made a mistake by selecting me as her friend without thinking intelligently. Might be her loss affected my thoughts. I am a person who always does have a disturbed sleep. I often speak in the midst of sleep, a minimal symptom of somnambulism. It also must have the reason for this scary dream. Most of all, I was having health problems, because of which I could not eat and sleep well for two days.

Any of these might have contributed to my dream.  Whatever is it, nightmares are tools and messengers to make us realize that we are in stress and strain and it is time for us to relax. If you are not able to relax even though you have repeated nightmares, you can meet a psychiatric anytime soon is the final conclusion. Have a look at the words of Tianna Galgano, author of the book “Decipher your dreams, decipher your life”- “In adults, nightmares can be caused by fears about the stressful situations in one's life. Job or money worries, a serious illness, deep insecurity, the potential loss of one's home--any of these can cause bad dreams or nightmares. The problem with comprehending that your dream is addressing a waking-day fear, is that the nighttime 'review' version is fraught with terrifying 'substitution' symbolism. If you are fearful of snakes, and dream about a snake biting you, the dream is NOT warning you that a snake may attack you in your real life. The 'dream-substitution' phenomenon has come into play. Most of you will not make the connection between the scary snakes attacking you in the night--with the worrisome physical illness you suffer during the day. You may not realize that the dream monster chasing you--actually represents your fears about being out of work and not having enough money to pay your bills.” (http://ezinearticles.com/?Nightmares-Are-Messengers---How-to-Release-Nightmare-Fears-With-EFT-Meridian-Tapping&id=5986211). If you can understand the meaning of nightmares and scary dreams like this, you can have a good life. Reduce tension and stress, live a relaxed life.



12/7/11

The greatness of being a woman


I was in standard 6 when I first saw a blood coated clothe in the school toilet. It appeared like a proof of a big crime in the old toilet building of the school. As a child, I got shocked and ran to the teacher to tell about the crime. The teacher did not seem to be serious and she instructed the sweeper to clean the toilet. I was confused on the ignorance shown by the teacher as I was thinking about the crime and source of that blood.

Years went by and many of my friends came out of ignorance about that blood and enjoyed the feeling of being a woman. I still was ignorant and thought it might be because of some wrong –doings of people. I have seen my mother and all others suffering with the so called ‘great feeling of being a woman’. Leg pain, back pain, head ache…no pain could spare the woman from enjoying this.

I have seen my friends and cousins look at boys with a special admiration and adoration, but I never find anything significant in boys in comparison to girls. I did not consider them as superior to girls. I considered them as my friends and loved to play basket ball with them as these silly girls do like gossiping than such nice plays.

Being the daughter of a drunkard father and an ignorant mother, I had a very troubled childhood and might be because of this God made me live my childish life to the fullest and waited to give me time till I complete my tenth form. After the public examination of standard 10, I preferred to research on death as I started loving death, my troubled life accelerated my feeling towards death. Each day and night I sat and prayed for death.

One night I was praying to God for death and I believed that “death will come today”. I closed my eyes and awaited death and something came into me. I was not sure that it is not death as the new feeling took me into another world. I was confused and opened my eyes to see the new world. It was the world of women. I closed my eyes again and for the first time in my life, I prayed for the well being of the entire world.

I could sense life in my body. I was really excited as it seemed that my body is preparing itself for giving birth to generations. Suddenly I had feeling of completeness and perfection in my own personality even though I realized an inner urge and deprivation for something unknown. On the spur of the moment, everything went wrong and there was a feel of loss .My body, that was ready to give birth, became disappointed and I perceived my womb shedding tears. I could palpate the flow of blood coated tears from my womb.

I was confused on these sudden changes, which were really fresh to me. I found a drastic change in every single thought of mine. I looked at the rose flower I kept on the dining table that morning. I was really happy to pluck it from the rose plant to own it, but now my heart is sinking in sorrow while looking at it as I was thinking of the pain it would have undergone while getting detached from the plant.  For the very first time in life, I had a soft corner for my mom who was trying hard to make both ends meet.

After a few days of rest, I went out to see the outside world. I just want to make sure that it is the same world, but miraculously it got changed. I felt that men are great beings than women, though I felt their crazy nature as stupidity. I found myself detaching the company of boys and getting closer to girls. I also started gossiping with them with a feeling that we are doing something really great.

Today, I love the entire world and want it to be happy. I believe that being a woman is the greatest thing on earth. I find myself capable of doing great things. A man has limitations to do things, but women have no limitations. Both man and woman can dream of going to space and such sort of adventures, but men can’t deliver and feed the child.

I do respect man for being a part of the reproduction process. Thanks to cloning that made women independent from men. Today in physical terms, a woman can think of a world without man, whereas man will find it difficult, but being a woman, I cannot think of a life without my man, as I love him a lot…I cant even think of a life without him.

I asked myself what made me think like this when science is ready to help me and all other women to have a life without man. I don’t know how to explain the psychology and philosophy of this feeling. My answer is simple. I could know the meaning of safety and security for the first time within his hands. I feel that I am 'the safest' within his hands. Now I understand, 'the greatness in the feeling of being a woman' is to accept the 'greatness of man'.

How Anthony Burgess did become a writer?




At the age of forty, Antony diagnosed for brain tumor and was informed that he might not live for more than a year. This news shocked Burgess because his death could lead his wife Lynne to poverty and loneliness as he could not save anything till that day. He thought of several income generating business to save something for his wife, but, the disease was really serious and Antony was not permitted by doctors to go out for work. Finally he decided to write novels as he felt that he might do it. The royalty of the books could bring a long term income which could support Lynne to live.

Till that day, Antony had not written even a small story, yet Antony started writing. He was not sure about any publishers who could publish his books. He was not sure about the thought of success. But love and dedication paid the prize. Yes, necessity is the mother of invention. His love to his wife helped him to overcome all the problems in his writing career and he made a one year plan. It was in January 1960. He calculated the entire seasons and anticipated that he would not be able to the next winter. He made up to write the maximum in this short span of time and with hard work he completed five novels. The dedicated hard work and positive thinking reduced the intensity of the tumor and he had given hope to live. Very soon, a he got a miraculous healing and he could write 70 novels before death.

Antony’s life reveals a very big fact about life. Will power is a great gift from heaven and we can watch miracles if we could use this divine gift well. God is capable of performing miracles if we face challenges in a very positive way. God respects your freedom of thought and will not override it at any cost. If you trust in God, you need to give a 100 percentage trust in God’s capabilities. Even 1 percentage faithlessness can make God helpless in performing miracles on you. If there is only one year ahead of you, you need to plan the year with God. Life offers a lot of limitations and uncertainty, if we could recognize this fact, we can face life with more enthusiasm and inspiration.


11/30/11

What makes you run so fast?



Oh dear squirrel, what makes you run so fast?
Is your mom there  behind you to make you eat?
Is there a maths teacher run after you to teach?
If not, what is that makes you run so fast?

Oh dear squirrel, why are you rushing like this?
Have you stolen an edible nut from your brother?
Or are you rushing to meet your new girl friend?
If not, what is that makes you run so fast?

Oh dear Squirrel, why are you in a hurry always?
Is your wife in ail as she gives birth to your baby?
Does your daughter look for you to get her protection?
If not, what is that makes you run so fast?

Oh dear Squirrel, why do you not answer my question?
I would like to let you know that my heart prays for you
That God please help the squirrel, who is in a hurry
I pray to help it in the reason that makes it run fast








11/28/11

Now I look like an Emperor




Looking at the bright moon was a comfort to my painful heart
The light from the bright moon encouraged my thoughts to shine
Among the twinkling stars, the moon appeared as if it is an emperor
I told my heart to shine like a moon to become an emperor among stars

Sans confidence my heart appeared as if it is not able to reflect light
It condoned with the small sins and pains which seemed like black spots
I looked at the moon, where black spots are more evident than my heart
Knowledge revealed that those black spots are the signs of survival effort

My conscience again returned to earth to see the black spots of my heart
I recognized each of them have a memory of pain and so sign of anguish
I felt that without those black spots, moon cannot be a symbol of beauty
Sans those signs of pain my heart also cannot brighten as the moon.

This resemblance brought a great deal of confidence into my heart
I was consoled by this great thought of calmness without any effort
In calmness, I was surprised to see the presence of greatness at heart
Now I realize that I am also brightening like the moon, the emperor




11/27/11

The castle of my dreams




Being a writer was never a part of even my distant dream as a child. Since childhood my perception about future life gained several forms which were really unknown to me. The initial dream about my future was to become a teacher as I did want to beat the kids of my teachers who used to beat me without reasons. I secretly enjoyed the satisfaction in my dream of beating and harassing the kid of my 3rd standard class teacher. The rebel in me laughed like a naxellite when I could imagine the helpless face of my teacher as I beat her kid. I am not sure of the day when I forgave her along with all other teachers. Might be after I joined a convent school where most of the teachers were nuns who do not have kids.
   
This situation must have made me sympathize to myself and I lost that desire of revenge. It was not possible for me to live a life devoid of dreams and my next dream took me to air and I started a new dream of becoming a soldier- a pilot. I read about fighter pilots who have given life for the sake of the nation. I cherished that goal and dreamt of serving the nation as a soldier. I pictured myself in the white uniform of a fighter pilot and started studying about the reality of Air force which revealed just another world where I thought of other options to serve the nations. This just another thought was enough and I made up my mind to have a complete transformation of intentions and I started dreaming of becoming a civil servant.

Whoever heard about my new dream laughed at me and they spent a lot of time to drive my mindset to withdraw me from my dream. These much of negative reactions made me strong and I have decided to swim against the current and I made to pass the preliminary and mains examinations of Indian civil services examinations. As I was becoming closer to my intention and dream goal, something was pulling me behind apart from my friends, relatives, acquaintances and parents and I could realize that it is none other than my own latest dream. When everything was positive and I started being right in the track, I felt something really odd as I never had a life that goes well with the current. I told myself that I am not borne to swim along with the current and I want to swim against the current. One fine day, I made an about turn and started swimming across the current. While swimming     I closed my eyes where I had the loveliest of dreams- my current dream.

In my new dream I was laying in a raft which was floating on a lake in a greenish natural strip of land. On one side of the lake I saw a deep forest and I could experience nice breeze from the other side of the lake. Along with the musical voice of birds, I could hear a stiff and lovely voice of a river stream which made me happy and passionate. My closed eyes were enjoying the imaginary sights of daffodils as shown by William Wordsworth and frozen lake beside the dark and deep woods as shown by Robert Frost. I opened my eyes where I could see myself laying in a raft on a similar lake. The woods on one side of the lake were dark and deep whereas the breeze from the other side of the lake was from a nearby mountain and it carried the fabulous smell of daffodil flowers. I drove my raft to the shore of the lake which was a juncture of plain land, mountain and the lake. I saw my house there which was built a half in water and the rest on land.

On reaching my home, the castle of my dreams, I could see a few people waiting for me, the well known and most readable living writer of the century. I look at the mirror and I could see that I am still young. I have had this dream several times in my life and each time the dream gained more clarity which added a lot of values to my effort to become a successful writer. I don’t know why I feel like this could be similar to almost all aspiring writers like me. 


11/23/11

The reason for unhappiness



When I was in trouble, when I was in pain
I could see the entire universe crying for me
I went outside to see the world’s reflex ion
The plants refused to swing with the wind
Wind was dull as if does not want to flow
The animals refused to hunt for prey and eat
Grasses were having a feeling of sorrow
The mist looked like a tear drop on flowers
Flowers denied relishing presence of the sun
Small birds stopped singing and dancing
The vibrant currents of the river were slow
The ocean was calm with no tides in it
The black spot in the moon appeared darker
Stars were hidden under the passing clouds 
The entire earth looked as if it is not happy
I wanted to know the reason behind this mood
Searching for the cause of this sadness
I reached to have a look at myself and my face
I looked at the mirror to see how I look
I could see a painful sad face of mine
Which made the entire world unhappy
I wanted to cry and finally made it to relax
Then I heard the voice of a nice music of rains


11/20/11

Role of media in the development of a Society




The current world equates the term media to the mass communication industry including newspaper, television, radio, journalists and other related professionals. In effect media is a tool people can use to provide a forum or platform for the subjects of public debate. Thus, media can play a great role in selecting this subject of public debate. So, we can say that Media retains power to guide and misguide the collective mindset of the society. The question thus arises is, whether the media guide us positively or negatively? Is the media biased and is it possible for a biased media to guide a society in a positive manner?

A few months back, I have read an article written by Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam, the ex-President of India, in which he had written his experience about his visit to Israel. The entire front page of Israel’s local news paper pictured a farmer who made some notable achievements in agriculture. The news was written in a way that everyone who reads it get motivated by the experience of this farmer.  I could not believe this as Israel is a land of sensational news. Every day the country faces at least one bomb blast and war movements.  Doctor Kalam continued writing that all such news of violence and crime are being given in very small columns in the inner pages. 

Think of India, here media is more prompt to sell the sensations than the reality. We read the news about scams, wars, corruptions and crimes in the front page of each and every news paper. Television channels are even ready to go to the bed rooms of sensational people. The real motivating stories are sometimes finding it difficult to get at least a small column in the news paper.  What is wrong here? Why the media guides the society to go after such irrelevant things when we have tons of development criteria are there to focus.

Suppose if agriculture is the life sustaining activity of a region, will they let their seeds to loss its quality? I know that your answer is a big no. The region will invest its one hundred percentages to maintain the quality of its seeds and further harvest. Only a good seed can yield the best harvest. Now let’s consider our nation. When we compare the frequency of population with landmass, our country holds the position of the most populated land on earth leaving behind China and also it is the largest democracy in the world. Thus human resources are our asset. How can we let to lose the quality of our asset?

Don’t you think that the biased media, who think that our people do like only this kind of news, misguide us? Even the film makers are biased and mistakenly made a mindset that the society does not have a quality to understand standard movies and produce only Masala movies. Do any of these media add any value to the growth of our nation? Are they not making us debate on gossips and silly things when there are a lot of real issues? Now, I would like to make a humble request to Media personnel’s. Dear friends, we are not against you, we understand the value of service you are providing. But, we want you to understand our quality, we are not silly illiterates, we are a society of esteem and so please provide us something worth to be debate, in other words- the reality!!

We must realize that the media has a very constructive role to play in the development of any society. Instead of celebrating politricks, scams, crimes against women and other destructive concerns, our media must put forward a constructive debate. It must act as a unifying agent. A common opinion is the key for the development of the nation. Let's come together and make this campaign a great success. I am sure we can do it....The revelations in Egypt and other nations are an example for this. Here we are in democracy....but actually lives in a virtual anarchy. Thus media must demonstrate its active role to bring the country back from the virtual anarchy.


11/11/11

Am I a Beggar?



“Madam…..I am in trouble…I have no food and shelter …..Will you please be kind enough to provide me food as I didn’t have anything for last three days….”The painful voice brought me back from deep thoughts to utter confusion as I was not sure about the identity of those thoughts….My thoughts were seemed to be fluttering and dancing in the air….This painful voice joined that dancing group and laughed at me as if they are much better than my own prayer.

In that muddiness, I found my hands moving involuntarily inside the bag and searched for a coin….I made sure that the coin is of the least value before giving it to the beggar. I looked at him with a clear expression of indisposition as I was getting late for the shopping. I parked my car in the parking lot and went inside the shopping mall. I was shopping for my seven year old daughter who wanted me to get the dancing doll. Even though, she was thankful to me for all the dolls I gave, she was not ready to compromise with whatever options I had given her. She always reminded me of not getting the dancing doll. Yesterday evening her sweet voice had turned into a tone of warning and instructed me that “Mom, today you must get me the dancing doll” and so, I was hurrying myself to find the dancing doll.

I finally could find the best dancing doll available in the city and made the shop keeper to pack it well and pasted a loving card on the packet. While returning to the car, I saw the same beggar sitting in front of the parking area begging to people. As habituated he repeated the same words to me once again, but stopped it when he could realize that I have already given my share of coins to him. The beggar’s face looked as if he does not know the meaning of the term dignity. As I was really rushing to see the happy face of my daughter, I didn’t even think of taking a second look to the beggar and I drove home.

My daughter was waiting for me at the door, she came running towards me and asked for the doll. I was thrilled to give her the doll as I could see the unlimited amount of happiness and thanks in her eyes. She ran to neighbors’   place and showed her new doll to her friend, my neighbors’ daughter. I was happy to see an immense measure of dignity in her eyes….She is now the proud owner of the dancing doll…..after showing her new doll to the neighbor she again joined me and was holding my hands as if I am her everything. I could see the depth of dependence she has in me.

After completing all the routine work, I fed my daughter and made her sleep. I made sure that she is safe and comfortable before moving to the bed. On the bed I closed my eyes and prayed to God, “God,  …..I am in trouble…Will you please be kind enough to provide me food, shelter, clothes, happiness and a happy and luxurious life  as I cannot earn it for myself….”  After the prayer, I closed my eyes and craved to have a sound sleep, but could not as something was disturbing me…Later in the midnight, I have seen God standing before me with all his mighty powers. His hands were searching in his pocket to find the coin of the least value….I wanted to see my face in a mirror….I could see my face and it seemed like “I don’t know the meaning of the term dignity”. I wanted to ask God, why? why is he searching for the coin of least value…but I could not…..as I found myself shameful while God was rushing as he must get the best gift to someone else….I was shocked to see that……

When I opened my eyes I could see that it was a dream……But that dream was like an eye opener…..I looked at my daughter who was sleeping beside me…..looking at her face, I could understand the reason why God was busy….I then closed my eyes and told him…..Lord, I am sorry…..sorry for everything….sorry for the moments I pained you…..My heart was full of thanks …..I could see a feeling of thanks in my own eyes as I always have seen in my daughter’s eyes….I then told God, “Lord, I love you….” I am your child….I want to be with you….I want to hold your hands forever as my daughter does with me….Then I got blessed with a sound sleep….A sleep without any disturbance, which I lost many years back……..My sound sleep was like a statement that states "I am not a beggar"


11/10/11

I am not able to remember when you smiled last



Dad, you became very old in a short time….
Not able to remember, when I met you last time
Dad, you made me realize the pain of love today
Not able to remember when you smiled at me the last

Dad, I don’t know to explain the depth of hurt I gave
Not able to remember the moment you enjoyed life
Dad, you marked pain on my heart when I saw you today
Not able to remember an event when I look at your eyes

Dad, it was really hurting to see you bed-ridden like this
Not able to remember your anxiety I shared last time
Dad, you gave your life and youth for my well being
Not able to remember even a day you slept without pain

Dad, I admire the man who spent life and youth for his father
Not able to remember a single day where you lived for 'you'
Dad, My heart desires to share my health and youth with you
Not able to remember when I made you smile for the last time

Dad, today I want to say something without constraints at heart
Not able to conceal it any more as I know the pain of guilt
Dad, today I did realize that I can’t hide my love to you
Not able to remember when I told ‘I love you Dad’

Dad, today a great realization of love touched my heart
Not able to remember a moment I said, “I made a mistake”
Dad, today I make out that how important are you for me
Not able to remember the time I said, “I am sorry Dad…”


11/6/11

Will my balance life be a balanced life?



‘The alchemist’ that reads "When you want something, the entire universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” is the most popular book in the last century. This book helped the author to become the most translated author of the century. From this, we can assess the significance the current world gives, to its dreams. Yes, dreams, goals, destinations and targets are the most repeated words in today’s world. I became an ardent reader of this book and a big fan of its author from the very first time I read this book. I cannot count the number of times I completed reading this book. Each time I went through it, I had a new insight which made me read it again. The Alchemist always gave me a feeling of motivation. But today, after several readings, when I was again searching for a new insight from the same book, I had a new and different insight, which was really shocking. My insight was just opposite to the demonstrated idea of the book…. The book’s title describes it as a fable about 'following dreams'. But, can U believe, today the book made my mind not to follow my dreams…instead you need to analyze your dreams....as it could be guiding or misguiding.

Whoever read this book at least once in their life time may be confused…you may be questioning me by asking how? And what made me say this? My answer is clear…To explain my answer; I would like to draw your attention to this fable. Santiago was a happy and content man as a shepherd. He was acquiring knowledge both from books as well as nature by being a shepherd. He could make people listen him even after being a shepherd. Even his life at the seminary could not get him such a grant life. He became happy when he could be content. His content life made him confident and smart enough to understand the black coins and he always emerged as a winner and could even communicate well with animals.

The introduction of King of Salem was really dramatic in Santiago’s life. The king charged a very high price for an unproven statement and two stones Urim and Thummim. Both the stones could answer only objective questions…don’t U feel It as a head and tail play? I do…By trusting an unknown person, Santiago sells his flock…One and only advantage Santiago had by selling his sheep was the ship ticket to Africa…the rest of his money has been stolen by an African…If King of Salem was Omni potent, he could have instructed Santiago about the possible theft in Africa…As he has not done it…we need to be suspect about the ability of the King….The man never became a help to Santiago after that….Here Santiago lost all his money by listening to a stranger…That stranger could be the brain of the theft…we don’t know the fact?

 You may find my argument a bit odd as you have never even heard even a single word against this book…but we need to have an open heart to reality…Imagine if Santiago could earn more money and travel experience as a shepherd, he would not have sold his flock…he could have invested his savings to some other place and set for a travel….then he would never have such a big tension and helplessness in life. The King compelled Santiago to take a haste decision which again directs all doubts of the king being the possible theft planner. As per my opinion, one needs to think at least once if not two before taking a very important decision. One should know his potential before taking any future step.

Here, Santiago was in haste and so he had to suffer a very bad time in Africa. To get that experience to reach in the pyramids, he had to get a training in the glass shop…that gave him a bit of experience…but Santiago with a proper planning could get a more comfortable travel towards Egypt. The English man was a planned traveler…He could travel till the oasis as Santiago…The story misguides the reader by saying that the man who plans and educates himself like the British man will never emerge as the winner and the man who was very haste in taking his decision and who even lost his chance to educate himself in a land of a very different language was being pictured as the winner. I don’t know how can we believe in such things? These tribal wars and man becoming a wind etc are quite dramatic…just to insert drama in the story…The truth is that Santiago has suffered a lot….He wasted a lot of time and money to reach the pyramids and not to his treasure. He could have made a more comfortable travel if it was planned.

All of us know that, the composition of Gold atom cannot be attained in any other way…It is true that Africa is a big source of Gold…but Alchemy is not a science at all and we cannot transform any other metals to Gold. If he was a real intellect, the Alchemist must be knowing this truth…and thus he helped Santiago to the pyramids to get his treasure…if the alchemist could make Gold, he could have given that idea to Santiago, his newly found disciple…but no….instead he helped Santiago to reach the pyramids....In other words, he was not sure about the truth and he risked Santiago's life. Even after knowing the truth, this old and cunning man misguided the research work of the British man. So...the well prepared and well planned man again made a fool....

By following his dream, Santiago reached the pyramids…Against his expectation, he was being penalized there and he got nothing even after travelling a lot…and I am sure as his travel was disturbed by the thought of his dream, he could not have enjoyed his travel. The only thing he got was Fatima….the girl of the desert….This long and tedious travel could only make Santiago to marry a tribal girl, who will suffer the rest of her life in another continent where she has to compromise with different life style and culture….Santiago’s treasure was really hidden in the ruined church of his own land…That is another shocking news….If staying back at home…with repeated visits to the church with his flock, one day Santiago could have found his treasure without unnecessary tension and sufferings…If not also, he would have blessed with his dream girl, the daughter of the merchant. So, Can we say that Santiago's life was a balanced one….Don’t you think that this book is another tool to mislead our life and future. …ask ourselves… Will my balance life is a balanced life? Let not anything to misdirect us….


10/23/11

Achieve success in life



We live in a world where we are being taught that dreams are the great driving forces that take our life ahead. In fact, this is a great reality to an extent but we need to be realistic when we dream as the proposers of dream theory do not impart any restriction to dream. This can lead us to fantasy dreams, for example all of us know that we cannot fly like birds even though we do dream it intensely. Thus, we need to drive our driving force in the right direction to gain success in life. Here are a few suggestions to achieve success in life.

As mentioned above we need to realize our dreams in all the sectors of our life. Make sure that your dreams are diversified in all the sectors such as career, beauty, relationships, family’s future etc. Once you are finalized with your dreams, try to identify the causes that pull you from materializing your dreams. If you can identify it in a better way, the chances of you reaching your dream destination are more. The next step to success is fixing deadlines for the realization of your dreams. While dreaming you can have short term goals, midterm goals and long term goals according to the extent of deadlines. While fixing deadlines, be aggressive and reasonable.  Always make up your mind with a positive attitude and whisper yourself that you can achieve success in realizing your dream. Famous novelist Paulo Coelho made it clear in his most famous novel Alchemist by writing “……When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” You can depend on various energy sources to maintain that positive attitude in you. The energy source could be your God, a good friend, your parents or even your God father. Such an energy source can work as a support source in problems.

Being positive is a basic requirement to achieve success in life and maintaining positive thoughts is a great caliber. You don’t need to worry if you feel that you are lacking that quality as it can be developed with practice. Always find only positive sides from others and ignore the negative sides of people around you. Never say or think negative about negative words or images. Always maintain a considerable distance with people who spread negative energy. Remember, the presence of positive people around you brings considerable positivity in you. Try to find the God’s will in your pain rather than blaming God and think twice before you deliver a negative comment about someone. If the situation demands your comment, make it in a softer way. Don’t forget that negative comments are potential weapons to destroy someone’s life. Be tolerant as the reactions on intolerance raise the adrenaline level in human body which is not good for heath. Always try to be calm and never get addicted to pressure. When you are in tension close your eyes and remember the face of your life partner or the person you love most.
Motivate people with positive strokes as appreciation is a good tool for relationship building. It adds a lot of value to both the speaker and listener.  It increases the chemical level of herritonin and oxitoxin in human brain so never leave an opportunity to appreciate others. Start your day with a good morning wish to God and sleep with a good night God. Think of a day where you start your day with smile to God and continuing it with a smile at office and you go to bed at night with the same smile on your lips. 



10/22/11

Who is he, whom I miss a lot?



Oh God, I am helpless…helpless in a way that

I found myself sitting lonely on the river bank
The currents were seemed to be concerned
Concerned currents queried about my pain
I told in docile voice that I miss him a lot

Oh God, I am helpless…helpless in a way that

I found myself walking across the paddy fields
On the way, I met the wind who was worried
I could see a deep pause in wind’s passing sound
I consoled wind by telling that I miss him a lot

Oh God, I am helpless…helpless in a way that

I didn’t find it worthy to go out and enjoy nature
I preferred to stay inside the four walls of my home
I myself was confused, what made me sit inside like this
My answer to me was so clear that miss him a lot

Oh God, I am helpless…helpless in a way that

I found myself facing a lot of questions from others
From the water currents, wind and my own soul
The question was same…who is he whom I miss….
My answer is clear…it is him….My love and life




10/11/11

I am proud of you



I am here to let that I am proud of you
Nothing in the world can beat you
I feel words find it hard to praise you
They are on their limits to reach you
You are a man of stronger volition
People envy me because of you
You went through every adversity
Yet, you could stand out of all of it
I am happy that you are mine
I really am proud of your endeavor
I am proud you could make out but…
Aabove all I am very much proud of..
Proud of ... for being you, you, my man
I can’t proceed without saying that
You mad me proud and as you are
You are a cause of my pride and now…
Now I want to tell you that I love you
I want to tell you that how much I love you


10/6/11

Renaissance



Behind the bars, beneath the tree, I saw a standing ovation
An ovation that made me proud, that could prove me myself
Now I know, I am not a zero, I am not bad and I deserve life
Now, I am sure, life has kept something great in hold for me,  

Still, someone inside me asked who am I? and why am I?
A definition is given to each and every entity in this world
There must be one for me as well….I am in search and search
My search ends in the answer who am I? and why am I?

Oh...wind, oh…..earth, oh plants….oh….ocean…listen me
I am confused whether you can listen me? I need know
I need know whether you realize my pain…..yet, I feel…
I feel like asking you the reason behind my being on earth

Wind was kind enough to give a cool hug to my hot heart
Earth with green plants was generous to smile at me in grace
Ocean was deeper enough to understand my notions
Their heartfelt prayer opened new way that made me everything


Now I know, I am not confused about the bars in front of me
Now, I know the reason for the cool touch given by the tree
Hey, tree I am not afraid, I will never be afraid because I know…
I know that you will be beside to comfort even behind bars


9/20/11

I forgot my husband's name



‘Everythig I do, I do it for you’, …..the marvelous sound wake Irene up…oh…someone is singing for me…..might be my husband who loves me more than anyone in this world. While getting out of the bed, Irene was sure it is none other than her husband. No one can sing with such a passion for me except Jack. Irene was happy with the sweet voice of Jack which was delivered only for her. She wanted to see his handsome face, she called Jack….please come to me I have taken up…..but he did not stop his song and he continued without having even a single change in his voice…after singing the same line for three times he became silent…. Irene called again…Jack, come to me….I need to hurry up…I need to go to office today…..but there was no response….Irene then went to the hall to see whether he is there…… Irene was shocked to see his picture on the wall….oh my God, Jack….he is not here in this world….He left me ten years back…..and I am alone now……Then who sang for me….who can sing with such a passion for me…..suddenly that song started again…..she went back to the bed room to find what it is…oh…it is my mobile with this beautiful alarm tone….she thought……

The alarm tone brought her back to those beautiful days with Jack. She tried to remember when she met him for the first time….but she was surprised to realize that she is not able to remember the place where she first met the person whom she love most. Suddenly the phone bell rang and she answered the call…”Hi Irene, Jennifer here, just want to check whether we are meeting up today. If yes, let’s make it up before noon as I will be busy in the afternoon. We can meet in front of  the gymnasium” Irene disconnected the phone without answering….Jennifer? Who is this? How can her be so arrogant to tell me that she needs to meet me before noon? Irene was confused but she had not time to think about it as she had to rush to office. She got ready in an hour and reached the gate on time to wait for her office cab. She looked at her watch, my God…it is 8.30….she was confused whether she reached the road before 8.15. She consoled herself by thinking that the driver must have forgotten to pick her. She rushed to get a taxi and reached office in time.

While getting inside the office, all were looking at her with a special new smile. She could not understand why there is a sudden change today? She could saw some new faces also when some old faces are missing there. She preferred to ignore those smiles of sympathy and went inside the office to reach her seat. She got inside her cabin where she could see her junior sitting and working in her seat. Oh…how dare you to sit in my seat. You are my subordinate and not supposed to sit in my cabin…get out…..she shouted. Mr.Jones was confused….he didn’t understand what is happening. How Madam Irene Williams can do all these when she quit office a few months back after her retirement from government’s service.  He understood that something is wrong with her. He tried to make her calm and showed her the snaps on the day of her retirement and helped her to get a taxi to return home. Irene easily could understand that she already retired and now she is not supposed to be there.

On the way back, Irene could realize that something is wrong….While getting out from the car, one lady was approaching her and it was Jennifer….oh Jennifer how are you? Jennifer was a bit angry as she waited a lot for Irene before the gym and came to Irene’s place to see whether everything is alright. Also, she was really surprised on the odd behavior of Irene in the morning. Irene looked at Jennifer’s eyes and blushed out. Jennifer could see a deep pain of loss in Irene’s eyes. She made Irene to consult a doctor at the earliest…..Both of them together went to the doctor’s place. After listening Irene carefully the doctor told that Irene is suffering with a disease known as Dementia. It is a kind of Alcheimer’s disease in which a person can even forget her own name. Irene was confident on her name but she was shocked to realize that she forgot her husband’s name. Once hearing about her condition from the doctor, Irene tried to make herself stronger. She tried to remember all about her bold movements in life. She tried bringing all those strong and happy moments in life. She wanted to see Jack and she expected him to be a support in such a situation.

Irene researched a lot about her disease and made up her mind to fight against this. The knowledge that there is no cure for this disease made her mission more challenging. Yet Irene was bothered to survive in the world of memory. She did not want to be recognized as a patient and so preferred to stay back at home with her remaining memories. She found her mobile alarm tone as a short cut to make her remember about food, medicines and other things. As time passed, She observed all her memories leaving her without reasons. She lost all the memories of her beautiful childhood, youth and married life. One day she forgot her name and on that day she wrote in her diary that “the ability to forget is a blessing and I, the nameless am the happiest now as I am not even able to remember my pains”. After keeping her diary on the table she closed her eyes and lay on the bed. When Jennifer came to see how Irene is, she was sleeping. Her hands were cold and Jennifer was shocked to see that Irene is not there in that body. She opened her diary and saw Irene’s last words….and wrote under that "Irene, U r not the nameless. You have a name and that is ‘the boldest Alzheimer’s patient on earth". Then suddenly Irene’s mobile rang with an alarm tone ‘Everythig I do, I do it for you’…to make her remember about medicines….but Irene had already gone where she does not require any medicines.


9/12/11

How can you do this to me?




No….No…..No…..mother…
How can you do this to me?
Why are you doing this to me?
What made you do this to me?

No….No…..No…..mother…
Mother, don’t you want to see me?
Mother, my face will console you
My presence will strengthen you

No....No…No….mother….
Mother, I want to see you
Mother, I want to live life
I want to enjoy your love

No….No….No….Mother
Mother, I am afraid….
I can see the scissors coming in
Mother save me….don’t let them….

No….No…No…..scissors, don’t do this.
I need to rewrite my mother’s destiny
I need to wipe tears from her sad eyes
I need to make her happy and smile

No….No…..No…..Mother
No….No…..No…..Mother
Mother…..…..…..…..…..…..
Mother…..…..…..…..…..…..

No….No…..No…..Mother
Look at these broken pieces
Mother, I am your little one
How could you do this to me?





9/1/11

Wherever you go



Wherever you go, let your imaginations surface with a mix of all colors
Wherever you go, I would dream of you being happy and beautiful
Wherever you go, may beauty could see and reign on you as ever
Wherever you go, all the good things on earth come on top of you
Wherever you go, God shower all his love and blessings upon your life
Wherever you go, all the knowledge and wisdom follow your ways
Wherever you go, all the best wishes wait for you to reach them
Wherever you go, you meet only warm people who spread joy
Wherever you go, you find friends who can get along with you
Wherever you go, wish your presence get happiness around you
Wherever you go, May someone be there to hold you in trouble
Wherever you go, let only good dreams come on your heart
Wherever you go, you get courage t overcome all hurdles around
Wherever you go, you may have all new and wide opportunities
Wherever you go, you find comfort and convenience as closer
Wherever you go, all your dreams come true at their fullest
Wherever you go, I really wish, you may not forget me….


 

Jisha Jagadeesh

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It's Me The Miracle by Jisha Jagadeesh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License