7/13/11

End Of The World



She was a little girl from South India. Climbing mount Everest alone was her dream and cherished goal. She made all the efforts since childhood to reach on top of the mount. Every day and night she thought of only one thing Mount Everest. She found herself happy and satisfied with the memories of her reaching on top of the Mount alone. But others viewed at her dream impossible as she hails from a south Indian village where the name of a mount is treated like miracle. She was confident and did not give importance to any feelings including love.

Her parents, relatives and friends never thought that she can become a success in her advent…All of them teased her for keeping such an unachievable dream. They told her that there are 3 big and difficult stages to be covered to reach the mount. People, who kept this dream when tried for it died in the first stage itself. To cross the first stage one needs to get the help of other 3. So every mission to Mount everest was done by a team of at least four people. But she was adamant, and she left alone. People started waiting for her dead body. In a few days they could see her crossing the first stage.

People were excited. They could not believe a lonely girl could cross such a big and difficult target. They appreciated her. She became a reason of pride for her family. She became the symbol of pride among her peers, friends and natives. Everyone took her name as a model to encourage her children. Most of the people were confident on her ability and they tried to support here even though there were a few to discourage.
But nothing discouraged her. She tried and practiced in the difficulties offered by the Himalayas and she could cross the second stage as well. As she was on her way to become a success, a man with a lot of lies approached her. He told her that he can be a support system to help her to reach on top of the Mount. She became really happy and she started loving him. She trusted him but the reality was different. He was not able to do anything.

The girl could understand her husband’s incapability soon. She took it in sportsman spirit. She worked hard to earn for her family and support her husband, where he was trying to ooze her out. He even did not let her to have kids. More than 5 years passed where she forgot her cherished goal of reaching on top of the Mount. She was feeling alone as he started looking for his well-being. In a lonely day, he asked her to leave his house.
She was shocked!!!! She could not believe that the person for whom she lost almost 6 years of career and life is asking her to leave the house. She asked again, Are you serious!!! He said yes….I found an ocean instead of you, a mere pond. She looked back from that point, where she realized that she lost her dream of reaching the mount. She lost her family and friends who supported her and she lost everything. She added only one thing, loss, insult, tears and of course financial burdens.

She decided to go back and tried again to pursue her career to reach the Mount. But she could not even attempt it. At the age of 32, she realized that next year she will be 33 and then 35 and then 36…she needs to live like a waste. She wanted to love and to be loved. But could not as all the people who looked for her well-being left her….. She wished to go to a place where somebody is there to love her….but none was there…..she started walking alone and finally reached the end of the world….. The experience there was really different….she wanted to share with her friends and relatives…..but she could not as the world was in another place where she could never return……


7/10/11

Ending All Pains



It is absurd to have an insecure life…
I thought that I am safe and will be happy
But the reality is something different as it is
I thought there is someone to take care
The feeling was an illusion which is not real
I thought that all those came across are true
But there was only very less facts in my thoughts
I thought I don’t need to suffer anymore
The pain rejected to leave me forever
I thought the man who smile is fair
But, it was not…there is a lot hidden in it
I thought I can have a real and good life now
The one who needs to take care asked to leave
I thought of assuring him not to be risked
Don’t worry I will move, move forever…..
I thought I am doing it for the one who pained 
But the reality is, it is me who relieved from pain


7/9/11

On your birthday, oh friend



Friend, the earth count your name as blessings
So are we, and we count you as a blessing
A great whim arise when you are around
As you came on earth as a great blessing
You are a very a gift of God, for the world
An unusual felicity spreads on its recollection

As a gift from heaven, you were an insider
And cognizes all there and so God
Everyone at heaven remembers the day
With joy and melancholy they think of you
This day brings a lot in earth and in heaven
Today is your birthday and we wish you
Wish you with a joyful heart and open mind
We pray for you to fulfill all your dreams

May the living God bless you to realize him
May he bring everything you want

May you get so much of pleasure in life
we look forward to savor our friendship
for many more of your birthdays.
I'm so glad you were born, to be our friend

Wish you another year Of laughter, joy and fun,
Surprises, love, happiness and success
Hope you feel deep in your heart, on this day
oh friend, as your birthdays come and go,
you mean to us very much, more than you imagine
And so, we call you Asish, the blessings
As everyone else do call "hard working"



7/5/11

My Daughter



“It’s time to get up, the time is 5.30 am” .I woke up and my eyes focused in the wall calendar. 2nd June 2011, my one and only daughter Liz is joining her high school today. She needs to travel more than 5 kilometers to reach her new school. The position of a high school student usually makes people to mark students similar to elders. But Liz has only 12 years of exposure in life. I was confused how she will manage to go in a world where a 13 year old girl is treated like an elder person. There are still days for Liz to join the more serious club of ‘Teenage’, After 46 days, she will be counted as a teenage person, but I am not sure that she can be matured to join that elegant club in just 46 days. How can these days bring the much awaited change in my daughter? She needs experience and exposure to get matured, for which I did not find any solution.
“God” I prayed, please listen my prayers…please equip my child to behave according to the demands of the age.  I deferred my daughter to God; the presence of someone supported me to come out from that anticipated dilemma. “No need to worry”, your daughter is better and matured than many other girls of her age” I heard someone telling in my inner soul.  Those inner calls made me comfortable and then I moved to kitchen.  Still an unknown pain was there in my heart.
After leaving Liza to her new school, I went to the market to buy some vegetables and cereals. There I have seen girls of Liza’s age selling vegetables and actively defending the bargaining women. That scene again consoled me even though the situation of those girls was a bit disturbing. My daughter who is of her same age is safe and secure and has a good life without taking any tension like these girls. That thought brought more happiness in me and I was cheerful and enthusiastic while driving back to home. I thought of cooking a brinjal curry and fish fry as Liza like those dishes very much. While cooking her favorite dishes, I was missing my dear daughter a lot. I was not sure whether all the mothers are like this. I always think of her. I live for her and I am ready to die for her.
After cooking I sat before the computer and planned for her birthday party. After having a deep research in her costume style I have given order for her birthday dress and paid for it online. I looked at the images of her party costumes, and forwarded them to Liza’s Dad, who will be reaching to attend Liza’s birthday party from London. After doing it, I sat to read the news paper. Again some shocking news was there. A thirteen year old girl was raped by her father and his friends. But I was confident on my daughter’s life, nothing will happen to Liza as her dad is the best dad in this world, my daughter studies in the best school where she is safe; it is me who used to drop her and pick her up every day. Once again I made up her mind that she is safe. I had my lunch with that confidence. I did not touch the brinjal curry and fish fry as I liked to see her eating it. With sweet and nice thoughts about my daughter I went to bed.
“It’s time to get up, the time is 3.30 pm”. The alarm tone from my mobile woke me up. I need to go to Liza’s school to bring her back. While going to the toilet I switched on the T.V. After the bath I heard the voice of a reporter saying that “the girl is 13 years old and is studying in 8th standard and has been raped and by her own teacher”. I didn’t have enough time to notice the news as I need to reach Liza’s school at 4 pm. I rushed and went to pick my daughter. The school gate was unusually crowded with media people carrying camera. I asked a person who was standing there, she told me that a 13 year old girl is being raped. I was relieved of the age. My Liza is still 12 years. I walked towards her class room. She was not there, so I went towards the staff room. There also she was not there. Finally I found my one and only daughter laying on the cement floor near the toilet, tormented and tortured. I ran towards her and took her in my hands.  We were the focus of a lot of cameras and eyes. Some eyes were full of tears and sympathy whereas others were full of vilification.
I took my daughter to the car. Her red eyes seemed to be full of tears and trouble. Her body was weak and her face was full of blood. I watched her as if she met with an accident. I told myself, my daughter has not lost anything. She met with an accident and I need to take care of her. While returning home I bought dettol along with the first aid box. I made her to take a bath with dettol water. While bringing her back from the toilet I told her that your body is now clean. I can get your mind also cured soon and I can wipe your tears soon,  but I cannot wipe the sympathy and vilification from the eyes of the people. So forget it. Think that you are cured and safe and they are still not cured.


7/2/11

Life of Colors







That morning, I woke up after a sound sleep and a wonderful dream to see the beauty of earth. My dream appeared like a comedy movie in 1970’s. Everything was perfect in my dream, there was happiness, there was excitement, but something was missing… the events in my dream was in black and white….the missing colligate was color…there was no color….I realized that like my dream, my reality also is missing colors, but I could not understand the reason behind it..
I was in a vacation, and was staying alone at Kodaikanal. My dream led me to the balcony and was putting effort to continue the joy I had in my dream. Suddenly the phone rang. That unexpected phone call seemed to be a real disturbance when I was enjoying the calm and cold morning with a cup of hot tea.  With a prolonged reluctance, I went in the bed room to answer the call, but it got stopped when I reached the bed room. The sudden advent of silence made me happy again. When I was about to return my mobile started ringing. The mobile phone screen showed the face of the caller and it was my wife. I felt a bit relieved but showed my unhappiness in my voice while answering the call.

“Dad”,voice of my 5 years old daughter eliminated all my unhappiness

“Minnooo, U woke up, where is your Mom? “My sound was full of anxiety

The answer was prompt, “I want to fly, but mom is not letting me”

“Oh dear, you can’t fly, only birds can do fly” I tried to make her understand, but her answer was embarrassing, “No Dad, we also can fly. I have seen people flying on TV”

At that particular moment, I really hated the one who invented Animation and made a fruitless effort to convince my daughter that human beings can’t fly. Being unsuccessful, I left that giant task to my wife. When I returned to the balcony, I wished to get back my childhood with all its excitements. When I was a child, I used to watch movies with greater level of exhilaration. I did pray for the well being of heroes and heroines of movies. I did cry for them, I became happy for them. I could not explain the happiness I had when my heroes came out of troubles. I don’t know from when, I could realize that these heroes and heroines are not real and both the happiness and sorrow along with respective colors in their life are scripted by someone else.  That might be the day I lost my childhood.
Losing childhood to become a mature individual was not a good experience. I lost that level of excitement by watching movies. Now I know these are scripted by someone. I lost the feeling that these movie characters are a part of this world. Now I cannot give my mental support to the characters of the movies as I did before. Most importantly, I lost colors in life. Now instead of looking at the green forest, I would hurry to reach home where my family is waiting for me. Instead of enjoying the beauty of rain, I will rush to office where I have a lot of things to do.

Now, when I lost childhood, I preferred to become busy rather than going outside and see the colors of the world. The argument of my little one made me wish to get my colorful childhood back with all its innocence. I want to believe that the western border of the planet is Arabian sea, eastern border is Punnamada lake, southern border is Kallikkaadu and northern border is Pathushery…. From that limited planet, I want to believe that there is something colorful outside this planet and I want to fly to see that…Now I could understand why I missed colors in my reality and I wished to go back to my childhood to have access to the greater extent of colors which is practically impossible. The  realization that my desire is not achievable brought two tear drops in my eyes….yet I am waiting for a miracle….a miracle that bring colors back to my life again.






 

Jisha Jagadeesh

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It's Me The Miracle by Jisha Jagadeesh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License