8/27/13

The Tail-end






A better half is the half of a couple
The half with a lot of flaws!!
So do, I became the tail-end of us

Being the tail-end, I forgot how to see
As the head is there to see for me,
he hid my flaw to make me see

Being the tail-end, I forgot how to hear
As the head is there to hear for me,
he hid my flaw to make me hear

Being the tail-end, I forgot how to speak
As the head is there to speak for me,
he hid my flaw to make my voice heard

Being the tail-end, I forgot how to walk
As the head is there to move for me,
he hid my flaw to walk alone in the world

You hid all my weakness to make me better
Called me the better half, though I wasn't
Making it a pleasure being the tail-end









8/25/13

Separation






Her desire was to reach the sun
His desire was to reach the moon

Though, love brought them together
Their goals never did love each other

She wanted sun who reigned the day
He wished moon who reigned the night

She wished light that lightens beauty
He wished light that lightens reality

Though days were hot, she loved it
Though nights were dark, he loved it

With goals being opposed each other
They decided to keep apart from other

With him, she will never find her goal
With her, he will never find his goal

Though loved him very much, she left
Though loved her very much, he left

She walked to the sun to see the beauty
He walked to the moon to see the reality











8/20/13

I am the winner, so the loser






Success defied following me, though I defeated my foe
Can anyone tell me how did I fail in this war?
I have no answer for I was just perfect
The armors I used were flawless
The arms I put-upon were great
The warriors I had were keen
I made the enemy outwore
I got her count death
I caused the foe to cry
All my efforts went in vein
My warriors ran from the field
All my arms lost its expected goal
My flawless armors tasted the bitterness
My travails and assays to tire out the foe flunked
Unaware of the reason, I looked at my enemy’s face
Oh Goodness!!! Now I knew the reason for my failure
I was fighting with myself: success and defeat both are mine












8/17/13

It’s difficult to ignore you






Oh sun, it’s really difficult to ignore your light
As it disperses to reach me to where I hide

Oh breeze, it’s really difficult to ignore your soothe
As it displaces to my hideout without permission

Oh thunder, it’s really difficult to ignore your sound
As it moves to my ears though I keep my ears closed

Oh dear, It’s really difficult to ignore your love
As it spreads everywhere from head to toe on me

Wherever I go, your love seems to await me there, as

Wherever I go, light of the sun makes my ways clear, as

Wherever I go, the solace of the breeze brings comfort, as

Wherever I go the sound of the thunder makes me afraid








I wonder, where is that land?







With a gold tinged plains in front of my eyes,
I wonder, was it not green when I saw it last?
Looking at the sky above was a choice to see
The sky seems dark and cloudy unlike the then blue
Is it the same sky that I left here while I leave?

When the sky couldn't let me identify my land,
I trusted the wind to show me the right place
Then the breeze was steered towards the north
Alas! Even the wind is not prepared to help me
They deny to appear anywhere in north or south

Only the trees, mounts and lakes are there, but
No fruits in any tree unlike when I left them
The water in the lake seems frozen and solid
The big green mount wears a shiny white coat
My confusion is still alive, if it the same place I left?

Where are those green fields and clear blue sky?
Where is that gracious breeze that made flowers dance?
Where are those pinkish fruits that made the tree lovely?
Where is that clean shallow water that made us filled?
I wonder where is that land, I left here a few days back?









8/8/13

The need





Sitting in front of the dentist for the routine checkup was not a serious process, but it’s a bit longer this time. Why the doctor is taking more time looking at the x-ray film of my left pre-molar? What is the problem?When questions tried to invade the heart, Angela took off her specs and cleaned it with her towel and placed it back on the face. This is the third pair of spectacles after the retirement. In fact, the time to change it is over before three months, but waiting alone outside the doctor’s office for the appointment made her not to go to the hospital. ‘’Your pre-molar is almost dead and we need to remove it. You must have someone to accompany during the surgery’. Angela slowly raised her eyelids to look at the person who said this. It was the nursing assistant. “Today, none is with me, is it fair if I arrange someone to accompany me in the next appointment?”

On leaving the clinic, she went to the department store to buy the cereals and vegetables for the week. She was not sure about the bystander who will help her to face a surgery at the age of sixty. Returning from the department store alone with the food items was not easy as expected, so she hired a taxi. Like every other evening, that also was an ordinary monotonous one. There was of course an addition: an addition of a new anxiety: an anxiety about the person to accompany during surgery. Trying to find a solution, she finally decided to postpone the surgery. Let the pre-molar decay by itself. She anticipated the future pain that may arise during the tooth decay, but it doesn't prevent her from taking this decision.

The next evening, while walking through the village road, ‘the pre-molar’ visited her thoughts once again. “As it is a tooth surgery, I could avoid it. If it is a serious health problem, how will I manage?” The question remained unanswered though she returned home. The question kept her awake that night.  Being awake, she looked at the calendar- 15th August, the eve of 14/8. That was a special evening in Angela’s life as it is the thirtieth anniversary of her being single. It was on this day; Stanley left her forever to live with Anne. Stanley must have celebrated this day with his wife as their thirtieth wedding anniversary. Why doesn't the society promote people to celebrate the anniversary of being single? It might because the man takes birth as a single on earth and that day is celebrated as the birthday. She laughed at herself for entertaining such strange thoughts.

Though such unintelligent thoughts brought a bit relief, Angela was still confused about the person to be with. Somewhere after the midnight, she slept without leaving the confusion. Next morning she couldn't make up to attend the church prayer as she woke up late. While reading the news paper, she wanted to discuss the current affairs with someone. She never had this feeling in last thirty years, then why now? She couldn't understand the latest developments in her own persona. ‘Rather than the change in persona, these changes are more physical’ she thought. When left by her husband, she was only thirty. In spite of the repeated demands from both Stanley’s parents and her own parents, she preferred to stay single. Being a childless woman, it was not difficult for her to manage a single life. Support from both her parents as well as in-laws were there during the initial stages. By the time, they were no more, her single status became a habit and she never did repent on her decision, but....?

But now, as she gets older and older she wants someone to be with, not for sensual pleasure but for physical and emotional support. She wished for the one who can speak with her while they have tea, the one who can accompany her during the evening walk, the one who anxiously wait outside when she is in the doctor’s room. Thinking about the past, she realized that she still stands in the same point where she lost herself, at the age of thirty. The mind still had the same wishes and desires, but the body doesn't support them. A partner is a necessity during youth, but it is a compulsion during old age. Though, she could see the reality of life, she couldn't convince herself. Yet, she started reading the matrimonial classifieds in the news paper.





Kitty in action- The aquarium





Kitty seemed curious about the movement that suddenly appeared in the glass box kept on the drawing table. Apart from a machine that blows bubbles, there are several other colorful objects in it. Even with repeated thinking, she couldn't understand how those colorful objects made swift movements. After a deep routed observation, she discovered that the box is not empty, it is filled with water and the colorful moving objects are not just objects, but alive. This discovery added her interest and she tried to identify the smell of those colorful creatures. After a research that lasted for a few minutes, she understood that they are fishes. Some of them have golden color whereas some others have blue color when a few of them are painted with silver color.

As hungry after the evening walk, she seemed to want all those fishes as her dinner. Making herself comfortable in a posture to jump upon the table, she looked at me to know my response on her plan to eat the newly seen creatures in the house. Though understood, I pretended as if I am ignorant about her dinner plans. As she felt me not interested in her want, she again shifted her focus to the aquarium. Then she looked at my mother’s face who was watching TV, without even having any interest in our affairs. As both of us didn't seem interested, the kitty stood straight. She tried to straighten her legs and tail together. This is what she often does, whenever she is on the verge of making a decision. Her very first attempt to catch the fish from the aquarium is followed by a quick slap on her face.

It took a few seconds for the kitty to recover from the shock. She couldn't even realize the source of that surprising attack. Being upset, she stared at me and growled. As I was not listening, she turned her head and looked at my mother, who was deluged in the tears out of television serials. Since my mother appeared to the kitty like a statue, she slowly walked towards her and growled in a very low voice. There was no response, so the kitty poked her softly to check whether mother is alive or not. Distracted from the streams of tears, mother took the kitty with her left hand and made it lay on her lap. While getting pampered by my mother, kitty looked at me as if my mother does not belong to me anymore, but her exclusive asset.

In spite of having the highest rate of enjoyment, she left my mother’s lap within a short period of time but with no doubts that it was me who slapped her. She stared at me once again and straightened herself out as if she is about to attack. On this development, I stand from the chair. My sudden move made her withdraw her decision, but she was not ready to give up. She followed me till the kitchen door and waited there for me to return. She took her old place on the drawing table when I came back to my seat. While I was busy writing, she tried to invite my attention by trying to catch the fish. Though, I made her not to do it, she continued her attempts.

In the mean time mother made to go to the kitchen and brought a bowl full of milk. As I was looking, she poured the milk in the kitty’s bowl. All of a sudden kitty forgot the fishes and made to reach the bowl. She drank the milk without fail and after licking even the last drop from the bowl she looked at me. A look that has a lot of meaning, a look with which the kitty proved that my mother loves her more than me, a look with which she showed me that she had the dinner much earlier than me. Next time, when the kitty sat on the drawing table she was gifted with an emotional superiority.

With the advantage of the newly gained emotional domination, she tried to irritate me with her repeated attempts, instead of me trying to irritate her. Somehow at a time when I was completely immersed in my work, she made to catch a gold fish from the aquarium. Instead of eating it at once, the kitty wanted me to see her win over my monopoly and she meowed several times keeping the fish in front of her. The fish was still alive when I see it. Though, it was not able to leap, the gills of the fish were moving. Mom!!! I screamed in the next second. Though, scared by my abrupt reaction, the kitty was happy and looked at me with a winning smile.


Mother who reached the scene in a second took the fish and put it in the water again. After a few seconds of dilemma, it regained its health and started swimming again. When both I and mother were trying to save the fish, the kitty was still looking at me with the pride of her win over me. She seemed to be happy on the fact that she could take the fish out of the aquarium and she is loved by my mother more than me.  It didn't take so much time for her pride to pave the way for sorrow as mom hit her with a stick. “Never touch the aquarium from now on” mother was really angry when she gave this instruction to the kitty. From next day, kitty assumed charge as the body guard of the aquarium. Both of us still keep irritating and loving each other. 



8/7/13

If you weren't there






I could have gone by now,
if you weren't there to wait for me

I could have blinded my eyes,
if you weren't there to be seen

I could have ceased speaking,
if you weren't there to listen

I could have stopped hearing,
if you weren't there to speak

I could have given up dreaming,
if you weren't there to be dreamed

I could have cut my tongue,
if you weren't there to make me taste

I could have ended thinking,
if you weren't there to be perceived

I could have refused sensing,
if you weren't there to be touched

I could have forget everything,
if you weren't there to remind

I could have been in curse,
if you weren't there to bless

I could have held imagining,
if you weren't there as inspiration

I could have looked the ugliest,
if you weren't there to arose beauty

I could have been poor,
if you weren't there to make me rich

I could have been weak,
if you weren't there to make me strong

I could have been in want,
if you weren't to provide
I could have been dead,
if you weren't there to live for me






8/6/13

The Competition






Restlessness being the key of the day
Ran around to find peace somewhere
A profound nap was a desire of the heart
Number of laps yet to pass, impeded the wish
Numerous laps that cover regular intervals
I wished someone to take over the next lap
But there was none in that end, made me run
Hurrying to the ultimate end, I saw me being lone
Am I alone here as all others are still behind?
Or am I alone here as all others have passed me?
While looking behind to see whether somebody follow
Heard a loud scream of joy from the ultimate end
Someone unknown made it to reach the goal
Wanting to see the winner, I hurried again
There are several long laps yet to be passed
Being eaten by the cruel and ugly desolation,
I want to escape from this race of rivalry
Yet, I didn't give up and ran steadily to the end
Reaching at the end was like a dream come true
It seemed the entire world was waiting for me
With great joy, I was recognized with a big award
Though in muddiness, I could realize the truth
The competition demanded the last one to win








8/4/13

Happy Friendship Day My Dear Best Friend!!!





Last night, I wrote a poem as today is friendship day. While starting the poem, my intention was to venerate friendship, but somewhere during the course I lost my goal and I flew against the current as usual. The output was not that good as I expected. But my husband was confident; he congratulated me for writing it. He told me that my skill is improving on a daily basis.  In usual conditions, I never used to return to my completed work to read it again. But, today I felt a bit strange on my own words and I returned to my blog as a very normal reader. I read the poem as if I am not the writer of this one.

While reading it, I felt pity for the poetess as she does not have a friend. The first line of the poem was, “If a friend is a person who likes my likes with smile, I am afraid I have no friend”. With the letters going through my brain, one face appeared as a background image, of the person who always wished to like my likes. I identified the same face with each and every new line of the poem, with a changed tag line. Being only a normal reader, my heart wished to make the poetess write as “I am joyful; I have you as my friend”. When I reached the last line, it read as “If a friend is a person who knows my inner soul, I am afraid I have no friend”.

Once I completed reading this work, I hated myself for writing this and for asking my own soul mate to read it for the first time. He has been everything for me since the day we met. He liked my likes, he supported me in struggles, he sympathized on my faults, he listened all my painful words, he encouraged me wherever I was about to loss, he stayed with me in tears, he walked several extra miles for me, he wished and worked for me to be a success, he loved me though I am not the best and above all he understood each and every wishes of my inner soul.

“I am not your friend?” I remembered him asking me when he saw the title, even before reading the poem.  Unintentionally, I didn't answer that question. But, he kept praising me for my writing skills. Now I realize, each and every word in the poem must have penetrated the soft heart of my soul mate. It must have been a hurt for him to the core. It must have offered him a great source of pain. Yet, he kept smiling. He was trying to hide his pain with his unexpected jokes. He suffered for me to be happy. If that is not the ultimate realm of friendship, what is it?

As I read the poem, I felt pity for 'me- the writer' who doesn't have a friend, but now I feel pity for me being ignorant like a musk-deer. A musk-deer wanders here and there in search of the smell that comes out of its own body. I wandered here and there in search of a friend without realizing my best friend who always is with me. He has become more of a habit that I can’t even think of him as a second person in my life. Yet, I couldn't count those blessings.


Dear Best friend, I know that you will never want me to be sorry as you love me so much. So, I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the very best friend of my life. In fact, we don’t need a day to remember each other as we never forget each other even for a single moment. But this day, helped me to realize you as “the Bestest” of my friends. If I had this vision last night, I wouldn't have hurt you with that poem with penetrating lines.  If I could have this vision at least in this morning, I would have wished you a happy friendship day before wishing my other friends, as you are the one who deserves it the most. Better late than never, happy friendship day my dear best friend!!!



8/3/13

I am afraid I have no friend






If a friend is a person who likes my likes with smile,
 I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who trusts me without fear,
 I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who supports me in struggles,
 I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who sympathizes on my faults,
 I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who cares the words of pain,
I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who encourages me in loss,
I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who stays with me in tears,
I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who walks an extra mile for me,
I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who doesn't envy on my success,
I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who loves though I’m not a good friend
I am afraid I have no friend

If a friend is a person who knows my inner soul,
 I am afraid I have no friend



 

Jisha Jagadeesh

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It's Me The Miracle by Jisha Jagadeesh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License